Friday, April 7, 2006 6:53 PM

Somethings in life you cannot control. you cannot take charge and say you want it this way. Why is this so? This is life we are talking about. A life that we have to live through for the rest of our lives (literally isn't it?)

So with this life given to us, with this unknown span of time in which we will be breathing the air that allows us to live, eating food so that we will not starve and drinking fluids so that we will not die, what can we do with it?

In life, it is inevitable that we will come across so many different kinds of people. Even people that we once thought we will not talk to at all. Some will just remain distant acquaintances, others close friends. Why do we meet so many people in this span of time we call life? Is it just to find the ones that suit us. Close friends that will stand by us no matter the situation, a life partner whom which we can live through life together, a mentor that we fondly remember and most importantly, the people that will forever stay with us no matter what happens - our family.

Yet what is our purpose in life? To just get by it day by day. Or has it more meaning than that? That through interactions with people around us, we influence their life just like others influence our own...

hahas, nope, i'm not siao just yet. i just thought of this on the spot hahas. but isn't it pretty true? isn't it like this? our life?

So what brought this topic up? My group members in pw. It will definitely be no bed of roses while working with this group. I feel the need to change. To be able to understand the people around me more and more. To hear their life and try to find out what's wrong. I seem like i need to be a psychiatrist hahas.

Ah, whatever. I seem weird today. Because as i said, my pw grp won't be a bed of roses. So won't be my life. i mean i FAILED the mock test for pft (standing broad jump, inclined pull--> coz' my technique is wrong, and i guess i will fail 2.4km run next week also hahas)

And i'm having trouble understanding lectures and stuff. especially maths & physics. my two better subs in sec. I'm going to concentrate more and more into understanding what the lectures are talking about by reading in advance.

Sometimes, i feel like i'm going explode. Not yet fortunately but soon perhaps if i dun let off the stress and worries inside me. In school, i still seem to be able to smile and laugh despite all these (nopes, i'm not hiding them. i'm sincerely smiliing and laughing hahas) but i have this problems that i can't just lay aside and not think about as it will build up into something that has no turning back.

I made a graphic planner of what my life focus should be on. Hopefully it will help. At the centremost of it is GOD! NOTHING can be done WITHOUT HIM! This is what i'm going to believe in as i move forward to get my life back into control.

I know i'm not the only one experiencing this change of lifestyle and hence adaptations. i have to get used to new personalities, new faces. Though this may already be the fourth month i'm in tjc and with most of the people i know, i still need to get more and more used to it.

Adaptations is like from 0% to 30% thx to amy. after that it changed from 30% to 70% thx to bingquan and lifang and choonwei and azri and the various ppl i mix around with. It rose further to 80% due to the seniors that i got to know as individuals rather than just their names but it fell back to like 65% due to the new ppl and new intakers... and the harder lessons/lectures being taught. i hope it will continue to rise to 90% soon... i still feel a little lost, especially for lectures. I hope to get to know almost everyone in my class... No idea where this is headed.

Hmm... tmr should be having a study session with pui and see she ask anyone else along or not... unless she don't want anymore... but think i'll still be going be it she's going or not. ^^

Mushishi is nice. Shaman King is nice. Kaikan Phrase is TO DIE FOR XD. BISHIS EXPLOSION! hahas. yups, a new anime. and it will be the new one for quite some time. unless i find a way to lay my hands on King of Bandits Jing Anime.

AND OURAN HIGH HOST CLUB ANIME HAS COME OUT! CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH IT YEAHS!